Sort the story from the facts
Your mind is very fast at filling gaps. A detective slows down, separates what happened from what it meant, and asks what would hold up outside your own head.
Being wrong about a story doesn't make you foolish — it makes you human with a fast brain. Curiosity is enough here.
The five questions
Answer them in order. The gap between question two and question three is usually where the whole trigger lives.
Trigger timeline
One moment, broken into its links. Seeing the chain shows you where you could step in earlier next time.
Hidden triggers
Often it isn't the argument — it's the four small things stacked underneath it. Tap anything that was true for you today.
False alarms
Sometimes your nervous system pulls the fire alarm when someone just burned toast. Both things can be true: the alarm was real, and there was no fire.
🚨 “They’re going to leave me.”
what actually happened →🍞 They answered a work call during dinner.
🚨 “I’m about to be humiliated.”
what actually happened →🍞 A colleague asked a clarifying question in a meeting.
🚨 “I’m in trouble.”
what actually happened →🍞 Your manager wrote “can we chat later?”
🚨 “Nobody wants me here.”
what actually happened →🍞 Two friends made plans on a night you were busy.
🚨 “I’m being controlled.”
what actually happened →🍞 Someone asked what time you’d be home.
The alarm isn’t lying to you on purpose. It’s just very old software that would rather be wrong a hundred times than miss a real fire once.
Reality checker
One prompt at a time. Answer honestly, not impressively.
What are three other explanations — even boring ones?